It's Friday. Sex?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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