Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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