We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
