last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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