I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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