but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize