wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
