So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Don't EVER smell your tampon
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
