There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
