This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
can u get pink eye on your cock?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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