I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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