I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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