I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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