We're facebook friends in real life
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize