In the future we'll all be gay
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
