i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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