we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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