A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
