Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
