we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
