Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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