what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
