1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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