Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
