he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
