I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
