you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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