This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
