Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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