one two three fourrrrnication!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
