im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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