Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
