I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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