real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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