and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize