# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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