This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
