Got a toothbrush?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
