so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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