Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
