For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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