How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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