What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he just fucked me for my cheese.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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