Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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