Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
