he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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