Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
