So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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