I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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