Porn is love you can see.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
