in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I currently don't understand fingers.
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