In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She even gives head with a lisp.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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