Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
