I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
