I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
