Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
