thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize