I'm jealous of your bromance
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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