that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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