I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
