Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
